Now, we all have the rather misguided belief that ‘professionals’ are able to do a job better than we can, and, very often that is the case. I would not recommend doing brain surgery yourself and I would be no good under the bonnet (hood) of a car if something serious went wrong.
It was with this mind set that I arranged yesterday for a local firm to print the photographs that I had taken first thing this morning for inclusion in my submission for the Open Show. Yes, even in 2012 when we thought we might be circling alien planets in spacecraft fueled by nuclear fission or Improbability Drive, the powers that run The Art Scene like stuff on paper.
So, having sent the files I felt reassured and spent a few hours trying to find the floor of this room I have been using as a studio which looked like a craft-obsessed crocodile had been wrestling an artistic hippo. After lunch and a bath I wandered up to the printers. I was given my prints by the young girl who ran the place (made me wonder if her mum knew she was out alone) and opened the envelope.
Now there’s bad printing and there’s very bad printing. I know artists can get a bit picky about colour reproduction but, without a word of a lie, the black cloth I had photographed my sculpture on was brick red. I said to her, as kindly as I could, that the colour difference between the file I sent her and the print left something to be desired. Yes, she said, I thought it didn’t look right.
She said she’d only been in the job for a month and rang her boss. There was obviously not a single drop of black ink on the print and she repeated this information to him. He told her to clean the printer heads, a job which I ended up doing for her as she had no idea.
Still no joy. I left. Nearly two hours later.
OK…so I went home and sent the files to another printer in a town a little further away. .. email….send… ermmm, well… no. The server at Mac was down and nothing got sent, just a lot of rotating thingies and warning messages from Mac.
Plan D then comes into effect and I logged onto my GMX account to send the files from there after first uploading them of course…. email…send… ermm, well, again no. To be precise “The recipient’s mailbox is full and can’t accept messages now. Please try resending this message later, or contact the recipient directly.” ahh…professionals.
By this time everyone had gone home and I had a stiff drink.
Tomorrow I am getting in my car with the files on a memory stick and a packed lunch and thermos flask and I will travel from town to town across the whole of south-east England til I find someone who will print three photos.
Wish me luck.