I hate security questions…

I know I’m not necessarily normal in many ways.

I hate upgrades, they are a conspiracy against me. Just when I have settled into finding ‘workarounds’ to compensate for the programmes weaknesses…the whole lot gets changed by some Fascist capitalist trying to get some more cash off me…

…and security updates are a monster that needs slaying. How secure does my email have to be? Who is interested? The various agencies read them anyway…

Some sites have pretensions of grandeur too… like someone is gonna hack into my Organic Gardening account and order kilos of bonemeal for themselves at my expense….. who cares?

I have a great problem with the idea of ‘my favourite….’, so when these stupid high security  sites ask me things like… ‘what is your favourite colour?’ I find myself pondering…
Do they mean colour of walls in an interior design scheme?
Do they mean clothing?
In a rainbow?
or should I pick a random answer that I am certain to forget in two weeks?

I was recently asked to name my favourite car (one I had owned) by Macs security idiots or… “what was your least favourite car?”  …what is this? a motoring survey?

Now even when people have said…’oh, it’s your birthday, let me cook you your favourite meal…” I am stumped. As far as I am concerned all colours look great in the right circumstances as all food tastes great if it’s cooked well and presented nicely (except cucumbers) …. and cars? I drive them til they die. End of!

What next?..”Which is your most useful body part?” “Which hour of the day do you like most?” “Which of your teeth is your favourite?”

Mac, however, went one stage further and asked me the name of my favourite teacher. My god…
…and another “What was the name of the street where you grew up as a child?” Duh…I lived in the country (several actually) and there are no street names…. do they really think I store that sort of data in my brain? I have a limited capacity for crap information… I don’t remember the name of any teacher. [“now get off my lawn!”]

You need to get asked concrete information… so..I found one question … “Where were you on New Years Eve at the Millenium i.e. 2000” … now, although I didn’t actually know, after all that was 12 years ago and it was hardly a life-changing event, I did ask a few people and came up with an answer.

It’s a shame they didn’t ask me for my least favourite question…. yes, that’s right ..”what is your favourite…”





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2 responses to “I hate security questions…

  1. what was the name of my sister’s pet turtle?

  2. Unfortunately, questions like this are security theatre- useless. Most of any real data asked for can be obtained through public records, and I can buy it for 25US cents per 100 names (or less).

    What’s worse is when, after crafting non-obvious answers with mixed-case and special-character phrases/answers, the bank bypasses your own security for this kind of theatre, thereby exposing you to much more risk.

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